Isn’t it funny how you think you know yourself after having to live with yourself for so many years and yet you can discover new things regularly? I’m sure part of this is because the person you are continually changes. Nonetheless, I find it fascinating that pieces of ourselves can selectively remain elusive for years until the subconscious (in conjunction with a higher power, I’m sure) decides it’s time to let the cat out of the bag?
So, get this: As it turns out, I seem to have an issue with trust. I don’t mean trust across the board. In fact, I happen to be one of the most gullible people I know and will often trust just about anything you tell me until you give me a reason to believe otherwise. (In my defense, I am a quick learner, but I will always give you the benefit of the doubt until you show me that I shouldn’t.) So no, that’s not it. It turns out that the issue I have with trust is a bit more complicated, and I won’t bore you with the details. But I just wanted to share some insight I got on the concept of trust earlier this week. To trust is to relinquish control. If you are a control freak (not that I’d know anything about that), this can be a chance at growth. And the need to trust someone is the need to allow someone else to assist us in bringing us to a level that we couldn’t reach on our own. Therefore, if we never trust, how can we ever move beyond our own little bubble and reach new heights? Trust is easy when there’s nothing on the table that we really fear losing too much. So I guess you could say I’ve come across some things that I’m really afraid of losing, but I can see how important it is that by letting go, I will grow. My hand is still clenched, but I’m loosening my grip. A little. I’m getting there . . .besides, my fingers are getting tired.
